Why I Decided to Stop Hating & Start Loving my Body Type
"When I was a little girl all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was... fabulous. "
Being a big girl is TOUGH stuff. You feel the need need to be sexy, beautiful, womanly, motherly, professional, wifely, modest ...blah blah blah...and accepted in the eyes of society. You must be age appropriate, and sexually attractive...but not to sexual because your over 30...or a mom...or a professional...but you can't be too mom-frumpy because that's not beautiful either ...YUCK. Not to mention BODY IMAGE! I would dare to say most women have struggled with being in love with their own body image and own image from the age of 12 on...Ladies isn't it FUCKING time we start learning to love every inch of our imperfectly perfect bodies?
I want to talk a minute about body types, body image and feeling sexy. So first off I am going to stand up and start clapping my hands. Then possibly kneel on the floor and start by placing my hands above my head and then lay them on the floor... and repeat. This is me worshiping all the of the women in power who have made "curvy" sexy again. From one big booty girl to another....thanks ladies (fist bump)!
I remember being 12 years old in ballet classes and trying to tuck my butt under my own body as much as I could. I remember squeezing my abdomen with all of my effort to try to have my butt go FLAT. How come the other tall girls with long beautiful arms and legs and torsos could do so? A nice straight line from the nape of their neck to their ankles. Just slender and graceful like a real ballerina would be. Me...the shortest of my class at all times and was rocking a ghetto booty ...no matter how thin I was...no matter how many lunches I skipped...I couldn't be as slender and beautiful as the girls in my ballet classes.
My teacher would slap my buns and say "Tuck it under Miss Elizabeth, good posture please!"
All I wanted to do is say "Dammit lady! I just have a big ass. LAY OFF. Okay?!"
Tears would wheel in my eyes every class. I loved ballet, I loved dancing and I wasn't bad at it at all. I just didn't exactly fit the mold. I was a short, ghetto booty, black eyeliner wearing, slightly emo kid that couldn't afford all name brand dance clothes...I wasn't a good grade getting , tall , traditionally beautiful girl from a nice suburb.
Oh but, hip hop class I never had this problem...I was aloud to shake what my mama gave me...but I loved ballet.
This sort of thinking led to me multiple times starving myself, taking diet pills in elementary school because of a comment a boy made to me which led to an ER visit & once in hair school where I got so sick I almost had to go to the hospital. Not that it matters but for the sake of you understanding that this is a head game.... I was a very skinny kid and teenager ..this was all in my head. None the less I did not grow up to be a professional ballerina. That dream was crushed ha.
I remember another time that I was at the beach with some family quite a few years back and I was post baby (always a lovely time to be at the beach, am I right). <----------- That was total sarcasm is you didn't catch that.
And I was wearing self consciously a one piece and trying to enjoy my baby and the beautiful ocean.
I was surrounded by family who was tall, fit & slender and I was rocking my 5 foot 2 wife /mom bod with a big booty and boobs and still working off the baby weight...always felt a bit out of place in that aspect. Looking back I should of embraced my curvy-ness. I remember sitting on the beach and a family member was pointing out a stunning tall slender girl in a bikini and drawing attention to my husband at the time.
I finally made a comment that basically was meant to come across as..... "COULD YOU NOT maybe point out gorgeous naked women to my husband while I am holding a new baby and still working off my baby weight at the beach?! THANKS."
And the response was , "Oh honey...your husband was never into PERFECT girls anyways."
You can imagine how I felt. My stomach dropped and I held back tears in an effort to not look like I heard that or to seem as if I wasn't hurt by a comment like that. Thinking to myself , "Well it's a good thing Elizabeth is not perfect..."
This is the sort of BULL SHIT thinking we have to erase from our minds. I wish I could go sit next to that Elizabeth holding her sweet baby and say to her...you just brought a life into the world YOU ARE SO AWESOME, you are a beautiful sexy strong woman and you look GREAT in that one piece ...why aren't you wearing a two piece, those stretch marks are really COOL because that means you grew, carried and gave LIFE all the while being sick, working, being a wife and a million other things. ELIZABETH YOU ARE soo PERFECT.
Anyways...you get the point. Slender is of course stunning but let's take a minute and not worry about all the different types of bodies and just think about your own. What's beautiful about it? Now embrace it. Stop worrying about your scars, your stretch marks, your cellulite your "this" and "that". Guess what, everyone has something or lots of somethings imperfect! You are human and our bodies aren't perfect and that's totally okay, it's more than okay , it's awesome.
Don't get me wrong, I think we should be healthy, fit and I am the first to admit I love a good cosmetic enhancement or adjustment BUT you still have a body type...no matter how much GYM or how many boob jobs you get....and that is what makes you YOU and so beautiful. So this year entering the dating life I decided...I am going to LOVE my body, every damn square inch of it. I am going to find it sexy and dress in a way that makes me remember that I feel that way.
So by embracing our bodies we can learn to dress our bodies that best compliments it. So instead of me pretending that I have a tiny butt and hips...hell I wear tight jeans that show of my butt...because it's not going anywhere so I better learn to love the damn thing!
Anyways I would love to hear your thoughts....stories maybe relating to this topic. You can comment or email me firstname.lastname@example.org
Maybe ill share a second post on the topic if you guys write it!
XO Elizabeth Faye and her big fat butt!
PS: I am supposed to give you outfit details hahaha so here they are below